Since I was little I always dreamed of the day I married, had my own house and my children. The idea was more like the illusion of “playing to have a doll house”. Like me, I know that many women marry without clearly understanding the great responsibility that a marriage and a home entail. It seems, that the love we feel is a shield that will protect us from any situation, temptation and challenge. Many years later I can say that the feeling itself is not enough and that what we call love has little to do with that feeling of butterflies in the stomach that we felt when that boy was flirting with us.
I have received this enriching message from a dear friend and I want to share it with all of you. The following is a list of advice G. I. Gurdjieff wrote for his daughter Duska Howard.
- Fix your attention on yourself, be aware at every moment of what you think, feel, want and do.
- Always finish what you started.
- Do what you are doing as best as possible.
- Do not be chained to anything that in the long run can destroy you.
- Develop your generosity without witnesses.
- Treat every person as a close relative.
- You must order what is disordered.
- Learn to receive and be grateful for each gift.
- Stop defining yourself.
- Do not lie, do not steal, for if you do, you lie and steal from yourself.
- Help your neighbor without doing making them depend on you.
- Do not wish to be imitated.
- Make plans and see them through.
- Do not take up too much space.
- Do not make unnecessary noises or gestures.
- If you do not have faith, act as if you do.
- Do not be impressed by strong personalities.
- Do not appropriate anything or anyone.
- Distributed equally.
- Do not seduce.
- You must only eat and sleep as much as is necessary.
- Do not discuss your personal problems.
- Do not pass judgments or criticize when you do not know all the facts.
- Do not have useless friendships.
- Do not follow fads.
- Do not sell yourself.
- Respect the contracts you have signed
- Be punctual.
- Do not envy others’ property or goods.
- Speak only what is necessary.
- Do not think of the benefits that your work will bring.
- Never threaten.
- Follow through with your promises.
- In an argument, put yourself in the place of the other.
- Accept when someone is better than you.
- Do not eliminate, transform.
- Defeat your fears; each one of them is a desire that is camouflaged.
- Help the other help themselves.
- Put an end to your antipathy and get closer to people that you want to reject.
- Do not react when they speak well or ill of you.
- Transform your pride into dignity.
- Turn your anger into creativity.
- Transform your greed into respect for the beauty.
- Transform your envy into the admiration for the values of others.
- Transform your hate into charity.
- Do not praise nor insult yourself.
- Treat the things that do not belong to you as if they did.
- Do not complain.
- Develop your imagination.
- Do not give orders for the pleasure of being obeyed.
- Pay for the services you are given.
- Do not boast about your work or ideas.
- Do not try to arouse emotions like pity, admiration, sympathy and complicity in others.
- Do not try to distinguish yourself by your appearance.
- Never contradict, just be silent.
- Do not fall in debt, buy and pay immediately.
- If you offend someone, ask for forgiveness.
- If you have offended publicly, apologize publicly.
- If you realize that you have said something wrong, accept your mistake and desist immediately.
- Do not defend your old ideas simply because it was you who said them.
- Do not keep useless objects.
- Do not embellish yourself with the ideas of others.
- Do not get pictures with celebrities.
- Be your own judge.
- Do not let your possessions define you.
- Never, talk about yourself, without allowing yourself the possibility of changing.
- Accept that nothing is yours.
- When you are asked what you think about something or someone, mention only their qualities.
- When you fall ill, instead of hating this evil, consider it your teacher.
- Do not look surreptitiously, stare steadily.
- Do not forget the dead, but give them a limited place to prevent them from taking over your life.
- In the place where you dwell, always consecrate a sacred place.
- When you do a favor, do not make others notice your effort.
- If you decide to work for others, do it with pleasure
- If in doubt between doing and not doing, take risks and do.
- Do not try to be everything to your partner, accept that he must seek in others the things you cannot give him.
- When someone has an audience, do not disrupt them with the purpose of stealing their audience.
- Live with the money you have earned.
- Do not brag about your love affairs.
- Do not take pride in your weaknesses.
- Never visit someone just to fill your time.
- Obtain with the purpose of sharing.
- If you are meditating and a devil arrives, make the devil meditate.
Today I would like to invite you to choose at least 10 of these practical lessons and turn them into small goals that I am sure if you practice them regularly can transform your year and maybe your life.
In the twinkling of an eye, my little girl has become an entire teenager, bubbling with pure fire in her veins. Her mood swings sway more than the swing of a trapeze player and I swear that on more than one occasion I have questioned what it is that I am doing badly as a mother that I cannot see her 100% happy. Ha! What an illusion! To think that I am responsible for the ruckus of those ruthless hormones. Then when I remember my own adolescence, I realize that she is in a fascinating stage that I must enjoy myself equally to the others that have preceded. Well, some time ago I started a plan of action to get closer to her heart and find a way that to be close to her at a time where all her fibers scream independence.
We have started the year and I want to share some New Year Resolution ideas.
* Work with passion.
*Believe in yourself.
* Look for excellence in everything you do.
* Get Educated.
* Cultivate your mind.
* Watch less television and read more.
* Look for physical excellence. Eat healthy and exercise.